Love Thorns

Meeting

Like a bird flying to heaven,

your heart felt lighter

and your mind fresher.

 

Like butterflies off to the sun,

your eyes went brighter

and your lips stretched wider.

 

Like a shy little opossum,

you froze in the instant

when your hand met hers.

 

Like an eagle over the mountains,

you felt proud and grand

when she looked at you.

 

Like a star underwater,

you were at a loss for words

when she talked to you.

 

Like a volcano in the south,

your guts were on fire

when you fell in love.


Relationship

The excitement of the first date

precedes the thrill of the first days.

 

The discovery of your better half

made you forget the lonely days.

 

The sun seems to shine

even through the night,

and the smile on your face

has never looked so bright.

 

The excitement of the first bliss

succeeds the thrill of the first kiss.

 

The discovery of your best side

made her overlook your grumpiness.

 

A light seems to guide

you through the dark,

and love in your bosom

has never been so full.


Imperfect

Her perfect love filled you

with joy, bliss, and

routine.

 

Her perfect love made you

feel less; a piece in

routine.

 

Her perfect love left you

imperfect.

Imperfect and longing for more

than routine.

 

“Why?” she said.

“More than this? More than me?”

 

And you argued,

and she yelled,

and you fought,

and she cried,

and you left.

 

“Why?” you thought.

“Stuck with this imperfect bliss?”

 

Imperfect love led you

to drink, lust, and

challenge.

 

Imperfect love led you

off way to find a

challenge.

 

Imperfect love made you

unfaithful.

Unfaithful and longing for more

than perfection.


You

You tried to be sweet,

but you were brutal.

You were brutal,

yet so gentle.

 

You were quite cold,

but you were so hot.

Yes, you were hot,

yet so distant.

 

You tried to keep calm,

but you were so loud.

You were so loud,

yet so quiet.

 

You wanted little,

but I gave you all.

I gave you all,

and you asked for more.

 

You tried to be master,

but you gave in.

You gave in to lust,

and I followed.

 

I tried to be wise,

but you were there.

You were there,

and wanted me.

 

We tried to be sound,

but we were fools;

Fools enjoying

forbidden love.


Oblivious

A finger on my lips,

“Sh, don’t speak,

just let me have you.”

 

A tongue on my mouth,

“Sh, no words,

just let me taste you.”

 

A touch on my hips,

“Hm, don’t go,

just let me feel you.”

 

A lick on my mons,

“Hm, no moves,

just let me take you.”

 

Your body on mine,

so excited;

Your pleasure in mine,

so exciting.

 

Your breath: short and quick.

Your mind: forgetful.

Your kiss: wild and fierce.

Your heart: oblivious.


Hurry Out

Wake up and break the dream.

Get up to face reality;

The reality of your cheating.

Why my bed, when it should be hers?

 

Quick!

Put on your pants.

Hurry!

Make up a lie.

 

Already regret your lust.

In panic, think of your love;

The one you left at home.

Why my lips, when it should be hers?

 

Quick!

Find your second shoe.

Hurry!

Get back to her.

 

She’s waiting, angry or sad.

You’re weeping, stupid or mad;

Madly you came, now you leave.

You used me; but why me?

 

Quick!

Get on a bus.

Hurry!

Leave me alone.


Thorns

Leave.

Leave because you don’t see

the tears

hiding behind the veil

of her smile.

 

Drown.

She’ll drown in her blood bubble bath.

Drowning

in the tears and the pain

and the fears,

she will see you in her last dreams.

 

Hurt.

Those thorns all over her skin

pricking

hard at her self-esteem,

and hurting

all her bones, her soul, and her heart

crumbling.

 

Thorns.

Thorns are pointing at her always

scratching

at all her dreams and feelings,

and tearing

apart her future and past.

Drowning

will bring gentle peace of heart.

 

Leave.

She’ll leave long before the end.

Bleeding

in her bubble bath of tears,

and hurting

for the pressure of the thorns

and fears

assailing her body and mind

all the time.

 

Bleed.

She’ll bleed all her pain away.

The thorns

will not be fed her flesh

anymore.

She’ll resist by giving up.

Her smile

will no longer be a veil

for her tears.

When you come back, she’ll be gone.

 


Cage

Her heart in a cage

of metal,

boiling in a rage

of sorrow.

Burning to melt down

to nothing

while pain breaks her down

to despair.

 

Breaking down and free

from metal,

vanishing away

from sorrow

and flying far off

to nothing

by giving in to

her despair.

 

Melted metal

scorches her soul,

but wings of sorrow

take her away.


Broken

A piece of heart

with the shape of hope,

A piece of soul

with the shape of love,

A piece of mind

with the shape of pain,

A piece of her

with the shape of you.

 

All shattered to crumbles

is her life;

and crumbling to shatters

is her strength.

 

A piece of hope

in colors of blood,

A piece of love

in shades of slumber,

A piece of pain

in flows of water,

A piece of you

in vapors of her.

 

All shattered to crumbles

is her hope;

and crumbled to nothing

has her life.


Tears

Cascades on a blue sky.

Rivers on a brown earth.

Lakes in a dark cave.

Meanders through green lands.

Springs under white skies.

Streams on a pale earth.

Ponds in between black wings.

 

Rivulets down your cheeks.

Tears wet your eyes,

and die on your lips.


What Was

You remember now

why you loved her.

You remember now

why you chose her.

 

Now all the bitter tears

bring back what was,

but that can never be

again, except in memories

and remorse.

 

You remember now

how you loved her.

You remember now

how she chose you.

 

Now all the bitter tears

bring back what was,

and the loving memories

drown your pride and lust

in emotion.

 

Now all the bitter tears

bring back what was

and make you choke on your shame

while wishing to go far

back in time.

 

You remember now

when she loved you.

You remember now

when she chose you.

 

Now all the bitter pain

brings back what was

when there were no tears,

when love was easy to give

to her only.

 

Now all the bitter shame

brings back what was;

the last kiss, the last touch,

the last lover’s words

before leaving.

 

Now all the bitter guilt

brings back what was,

but that can never be

again, except in remorse

and tears.

 

You can’t remember now

why you left her.


Gone

Since she went, the past

has come to harass you.

All future is gone

and before your eyes

stand only the past

mistakes.

 

Since she left, the past

has reclaimed your dreams.

Tomorrow is gone

and inside your mind

play only the past

errors.

 

Since she broke, the past

has shattered your hope.

Forever is gone

and over your heart

dance only the past

lovers.


Void

Missing her

is your sole occupation.

There is a huge void

in your heart

inhabiting

the ghost of her presence.

 

Missing her

is your sole consolation.

Your heart is hollow

and your soul

now inhabits

the void of her absence.

 

Embracing the void,

you dream of her arms.

Kissing the ghost,

you dream of her lips.

 

And you cry.

 

You cry your guilt away.

Missing her

is your sole consolation.


Belongings

Her perfume

still lingers on your skin.

One hair of hers

still lies on your pillow.

Her curves

still shape your embrace.

One kiss of hers

still marks your lips.

 

You feel her presence

in this painful absence.

You feel her absence

in this evanescent presence.

 

Her nightgown

still hangs in your closet.

One shirt of hers

abandoned on your couch.

Her music

still plays on your turntables.

One joke of hers

speaks again to your ears.

 

You know her presence

in this dreadful absence.

You see her absence

in this vanishing presence.

 

Her bright smile

still lights up your eyes.

One laugh of hers

still draws a smile from you.

Her red blood

still stains your white bath.

One drop of it

sends shivers down your spine.

 

You cry her absence

despite the cold presence.

You fear her presence

despite the known absence.


Shadows

You see her.

Hallucination.

She’s there.

A shadow.

Going mad.

You want her.

You can’t think.

A shadow.

You see her.

Hallucination.

Your head spins

and spins and spins;

Going mad,

screaming, screaming,

“Enough!”

 

You can’t breathe.

She’s choking you.

A shadow.

You want to run.

She’ haunting you.

Hallucination.

You want to fly.

Breaking free.

She’s haunting you.

A shadow.

Your heart bleeds

and bleeds and bleeds;

Breaking free,

crying, crying,

“I’m sorry!”


Forgiveness

You’re sorry.

Sorry for your mistake.

Sorry for your loss.

You’re sorry.

 

You’re sorry, and angry.

Angry because you left.

Angry because she’s gone.

You’re angry.

 

You’re sorry, and angry, and blame yourself.

Blame because you didn’t see.

Blame because she didn’t say.

You blame yourself.

 

And you’re mad.

Mad at her for leaving you.

Mad at you for cheating her.

You’re mad,

and you cry,

and you scream,

“Tell me why?”

 

And you’re sad.

In a sigh, you’ll forgive her.

But she’s not here anymore

to forgive you.


Move on

Because you cannot live

in your grief,

Because you cannot love

with her loss,

Because even guilt won’t

bring her back;

Move on.

 

Because you cannot see

beyond her,

Because you cannot feel

other joys,

Because even shame won’t

give you peace;

Move on.

 

Remember her

(her bright smile,

her dark eyes,

her soft skin,

her sweet love),

but forgive yourself.

 

Remember her

(her open mind,

her smart words,

her good care,

her sweet love),

but then move on.


Anew

She will always live

in your heart

as the greatest love,

the most beautiful memory.

 

You will never again

make that mistake:

your greatest fault,

the most horrible memory.

 

To live anew

is to learn from her;

To love anew

is to give all to one.

 

To light anew

the sparkle in your eyes,

you must forgive

and start anew.

 

To love again

is not to forget;

To live again

is just to forgive.

 

To feel again

the flutter in your guts,

you must go on

and start again.

 

You will nevermore

fail in love

and recall that fault,

the most dreaded memory.

 

She will always live

in your heart

as the sweetest love,

the most life-changing memory.

 

You lost a piece of you

when losing her,

but you can start anew

and love better.

 

To love anew

is not to forget;

To live anew

is just to forgive.


Copyright © 2016 Sandrine Spycher. All rights reserved.

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